It's No Longer A Dream
by MishaMETAL
Summary: maybe a bit of ExT. It's the world most of us can't accept...a world so confusing most of us would rather go back to the way it was... even if it was a dream. xover with The matrix.
1. awake

**Chapter One: Awake.**

After…there was darkness… a darkness I haven't even seen in my 'dreams'.

It was as if I was dying… or being born for the first time…_again_.

I felt wet…soaked to the very core of my stomach… and for the very first time I smelt life.

I couldn't see because my eyes wouldn't work. And every time I tried to open them, I felt a headache behind the protective human eye shields that scorched the very light from my mind.

Then soon I realized why I felt so wet… I was drowning in the most disgusting water I could ever have imagined to have fallen in.

Where the hell was I?

I saw a mans figure soon after, hovering over my dead-like body and speaking a few whispered words.

"Welcome… to the real world."

After a time I would wake up for a moment between sleep… or was it recovery? My head would hurt and then my arms would burn and again and again it would circulate around my whole body. I was in agony and I sometimes forgot completely why I felt this way. And then I wouldn't have to wonder because my mind would always panic but my body could never read its signals and never move, I couldn't move.

When I opened my eyes for the first time I saw what looked like a cellar. I saw a door at the foot of my bed that resembled a submarine ship door, with the large wheel handle in the center of the metal base. I heard a large squeal before the door opened and I realized that would be one of the many unfamiliar sounds I would be hearing for the rest of my life… or to the end of the world.

The man I saw before was standing beside me with a tray of food and I sat up to retrieve it.

"How do you feel?"

"Like hell." I retorted before gulping down the liquid, then something came over me and I turned to the side to spit the ugly drink out. I looked at the empty cup and then up at this man with a scowl, "What the hell is this?"

When he chuckled I felt like I've made a huge mistake by making a fool of myself in front of him.

"That is water." He knelt down in front of me so he was facing me and I watched him in awe, "You call this water?"

"I have not yet told you about the real world yet, as I attempt to do in the near future so you most likely will not understand yet about our food supply. Let me escort you to the docks. We are at Zion now; we've landed thirty minutes ago."

While I followed him I couldn't help but to ask, "Tell me. Why did my eyes hurt when you… _freed_ me?"

"You've never used them before." Was his ridiculous answer. I decided to leave the book closed and stared ahead at the most significant place I have ever seen in my life. This…city was remarkably dirty and messy with uncontrollable wires running to probably every corner possible to run this underground world and I found myself confused yet again, yet still amazed.

The elevator took us to Dock 6 where the doors opened to a bridge. But we turned to walk along the wall and soon I couldn't trace how we got to a large room with so many different cultured people. I thought I have seen them all when they've visited my homeland of Japan touring but when I now looked at these people I realized there were cultures I never even knew of. Their ridiculous clothing and the jewelry was so odd and unfamiliar to me I wanted to scream but I stayed quiet as this man took me to wherever he would put me.

It was strange to me, this place. When this man asked me to take the red pill and to learn this wonderful place I never dreamed it to be this surreal.

My body felt weak ever since I've been unplugged from the matrix but after a certain amount of time it would subside and I would feel yet again as comfortable with my body as I was when I was plugged into that dream world. My hair started to grow back and I found myself bonding with others who lived around me on Dock 6.

I had a best friend now, her name was Tomoyo, the charming girl who's captured every single boy's heart and hasn't even known it.

One of those boys was my neighbor and good friend, Eriol. He had a strange black cat named Suppi that would always mysteriously 'sneeze' on my legs every time it walked passed me, but I secretly knew it hated me.

I began to love it here and love the people around me and every week I would visit the captain of the Zeraris, when he wasn't on the ship patrolling the sewers or in the matrix.

I would always sit at the same table drinking the very same water that disgusted me at first. I soon realized it tasted the same and fresh as fresh could be down here in Zion. My body just wasn't use to it after waking up from a dream world for seventeen years I couldn't get use to anything for a very long time.

I would always be waiting for him and always expect him to be late, yet still arrive at the same time.

"Hello Evan." I didn't have to look up to know who it was. I heard the usual uneven breathing of his and he sat down across me.

"Hello Sakura." He laughed and I looked up to smile back at him. He had his thinking face on and I knew he would turn serious soon, and when he sighed I was unsure about the conversation we will have this afternoon.

"How long has it been?"

"Five months, seven days and thirteen hours." I spoke casually before taking another sip.

"No, I meant since your last relationship." He laughed and I looked at him startled. We've never spoken about my single status and quite frankly, I didn't know how to respond to something like that.

I was frozen to my seat and I only realized it when he started to look guilty.

"I'm sorry… was that an area I shouldn't touch again?" He looked sympathetic now and I cringed.

"No… not at all. It's just that…" I looked at the cup in my hand before continuing, "I've never had a relationship with anyone." I felt somewhat relieve after saying this and I assumed it was a good thing.

Evan blinked several times before speaking, "You've…never…?"

I shook my head with a silly smile, "Nope." Then I looked at him again, "Why does that shock you?"

He laughed nervously before looking down as he scratched the back of his head. My guess was that he was nervous about something.

"That's just…" he looked down again and I started to wonder what made him loose the will to speak. "Weird."

I stared at him, wondering what he meant, "What's so weird about it?"

There was a very long pause after this until I regretted ever asking. He had to have been staring at me for ten minutes now, looking as if he shouldn't say what he was thinking and soon I found myself staring back trying to read his face.

"You're… beautiful."

This struck me to a certain height I've never reached before. He's complimented me before but with this certain atmosphere it changed everything. I felt edgy and tried to look at anything but his face. I was twitching in certain areas and I played with the weird pieces that made up this table.

All my life I was never truly approached by someone. No one asked me out or hit on me so suddenly and after a time I actually wondered if I was ugly. Right now I felt like I could cry. My life plugged into the matrix wasn't as confusing as the real world but the things that have happened in it still got me lost every time something tried to either ruin my life, humiliate my life or mock it.

Right now I've just been flirted with for the first time and it overwhelmed me. I held my tears as I looked back at him, "If I'm so beautiful why was I never approached?" I whispered and I knew he could hear me. I saw him gulp and I lost the will to look at him again.

"My guess is that they were afraid." He said to me, causing me to look up at him in shock for the second time.

"Or at least shy." He smiled.

And out of all the awful feeling I felt, I never thought I would have the will to smile back. But I did.

A week later there was a knock on my door so early in the morning I would have done something violent to the person behind it until I realized who it was.

"Tomoyo? What are you-"

"The Cirus is back." She said urgently and my eyes widened.

Tomoyo slammed her body against her father when we got to the top docks. When she embraced him I was happy he was alive. They've been gone for over three months we were all beginning to worry and Tomoyo started to loose it. He kissed her temples and spun her around and she tightened her grip in the embrace I began to feel that feeling again as I looked away frantically; that feeling of loneliness.

I have neither parents nor siblings. In the matrix I had Touya as a brother and then my father but… they were only illusions blinding me from the truth. Tomoyo was born here without holes and with a family.

Evan was practically my father in this world. He gave birth to me and raised the mind I have now. But it was never the same.

"Sakura are you okay?" Tomoyo asked me after the reunion was over. I smiled at them and assured them both I was fine.

I had diner at Tomoyo's that night and it had to have been the loudest diner nights they've ever had, considering Tomoyo's father was back. Her mother sat at the end while Tomoyo and her father sat across from me.

"There's talk from the Neberkanezer… Morpheus has found the one." Her father turned regal and serious and looked at Tomoyo's mother. They shared looks and Tomoyo seemed to understand what he had meant also.

I made a sound for their attention and they looked at me, "What does that mean?" I furrowed my eyes as I listened to his story about some prophesy and then more information between the machines and humans.

"Not everyone believes what Morpheus believes. I even have my doubts on this one but … sometimes he seems so… _sure_."

I stared at him, intrigued, as we all sat in silence.

After diner I said my farewells and walked back to my room. I wasn't quite ready to go back inside yet so I leaned against the railing and stared out at the city around me. It was a shame I could never see the stars again or stand in the fields where the wind would caress my body and I would watch the sky without any worries anymore.

Now the lights from the city turned into my night sky, and the air around me, even though it wasn't wild, it would now be my wind. And the metal beneath my feet will be my grass.

For a while it was unsettling, I couldn't come to believe anything and I would have nightmares. Now it's as if all this never happened, I never had that dream life and I was never unplugged. It felt as if I were here my whole life.

Once I stepped inside my door I suddenly felt tired, so I went to bed.


	2. it's only a matter of time

**Chapter 2: It's Only a Matter of Time.**

**A/N: So you're not confused… it is Syaoran's turn to tell his story.**

When the sound of my alarm clock finally reached my ears I was stripped of my sleep. Grouchy and in a bad mood I slammed down on the snooze button and got up to stretch. I couldn't help but feel just a little bit more scared every time I woke up to the real world. Any day it could happen, at any time the machines could find a way to get to Zion and destroy us. It is inevitably only a matter of time, after all.

I walked to the showers with the same morning tension and stress until I felt that hot water run down my muscles, calming and relaxing me like it does every morning.

I suddenly slapped my hand against the wall in front of me when the images of my dream flashed in my mind again. I always had that dream, that same annoying dream that made no sense at all. I was starting to get aggravated by the curiosity and fright of it all, and I could loose my mind at any moment.

I closed my eyes as I tried to catch back the breath I lost for the past few minutes and as soon as I did I took a deep breath before turning the water off. After drying off I wrapped the towel around my waist when I remembered that there was a party tonight.

"God damn it." I didn't feel like going tonight. It would be crowded and loud and every woman would annoyingly want me to dance with them. Apparently I was the most good looking guy on Dock 8 ever since I could remember. Everything went especially haywire after I had that fight with that kid who insulted my mother only weeks ago.

When I got dressed I took a walk down to the eatery on Dock 6 where I was suppose to meet Eriol. When I waited for over a half an hour and the kid never came. I should have known he was up to something… what _was_ he up to anyway?

"Syaoran!" I turned around to the voice and waited patiently for him to catch up, with my hands tucked strongly in my pockets. I raised a brow when he doubled over while catching his breath, thinking it was definitely odd to see him like this.

"So?" I asked him after he caught his breath and sat across me at the table I chose. It seemed to be his turn to have raised a brow at me, "So what?"

"Why did you call me for lunch…you finally turned gay?"

"Can't a cousin spend some time with a cousin?"

"You'd rather waste time on me, the arrogant bastard, than to win the heart of your obsession?" My eyebrow rose again, this time higher as I watched him turn a shade of red.

He sunk into his seat, "Of course, you don't understand my situation."

"Of course I do." I started to say, my amusement going wild as I leaned against the table to get into character, "You're afraid she'll never want to speak to you again and along with that, never want a friendship with you after you confess. Now you'll have no one but your stupid cat and an arrogant bastard of a cousin who could care less about your silly situations that are only useless in the first place."

There was a long pause as he stared at me, obviously irritated or at least offended and I waited in satisfaction for him to speak again, "This is why you don't have a girlfriend."

I almost laughed, "You think I want a girlfriend? Dude, have you seen all the women here? They're crazy about me and are only after one thing, and there's no way in hell I'll be giving it to anyone." I took a sip of my water and gave a regal stare, watching him look at me with that ugly smirk of his.

"And what might that one thing be?"

"Eriol, there is no point in relationships down here." He raised an eyebrow at me and I looked away from his gaze before whispering, "It's only a matter of time."

"You're still coming to the party tonight, right?" Eriol gulped the last of his water and I scoffed.

"Oh C'mon Syaoran, you're apart of this colony too, you have to come." The disappointment in his voice was rare and it would be a complete lie if I said I didn't rethink going.

"I can't stand the crowd, you know that." I still couldn't look at him, but I knew he was staring.

"Not everyone is obsessed with your looks Syaoran. Most of the women will be stuck to their boyfriends or husbands. Just come and at least _try_ to have fun."

He meant this and I knew he was compassionate towards me. I knew he truly wanted me to go, I could hear it in his voice, and he definitely sounded like he _did_ want me to have fun, considering I spend most of my days locked up in my room.

"Besides… I want to introduce you to someone." He smirked slyly and I scoffed again as I rolled my eyes, "Why would you even bother trying to hook me up with someone Eriol? Are you deaf or just plain stupid?"

He grinned, "I never said anything about hooking up. Did you know that when you assume something you _want_ it to happen?"

"Oh give me a god damn break; I don't give a fuck about that stupid physique shit." Every time, I don't know why but I always got pissed off with this kid around and it's surprising I haven't knocked him out yet.

"You're right, you don't." He sat back in his chair and I looked out over the ledge where I could see the rest of the city below me. I had to admit, this place was remarkably amazing.

"Well then…" He sat up and pushed the chair out, catching my attention again, "I'll pick you up at six." And with that he started to walk away.

"I'm not going, Eriol!" I called after him, though he ignored me with the wave of his hand and several others were looking at me with odd looks and the only thing I could do was look back at the city around me.

Later I found myself eating where there were many other people, and I don't usually do this. I usually grab my food and go back to my room. I suppose I was trying to avoid Eriol. Surprisingly none of the women were gathered up around me and I was quite grateful of this, finally I could eat in peace.

Every time I would see someone with holes it reminded me how I was born here without them. I never saw the matrix except for on the screens. I've always wanted to volunteer as an operator on one of the ships but somehow I found myself stepping away from it. I suppose I should go and do it anyway soon, there isn't much to do here anyways except eat.

The only people I have contact with are Eriol and his stuck up cat. Of course, I wouldn't have any contact with him if it wasn't for his clinginess towards me. But in a way I've had to eventually grow some feelings for the kid, he's my cousin after all, even if he was annoying.

I've lost my mother and father to the Venus ship long ago. Apparently they were killed in the Matrix while trying to get some very important information to the Neberkanezer. My father was released from the Matrix when he was seventeen and my mother a little after him, only a few years younger. Both unplugged on the same ship and soldiers on the Venus they soon fell in love and I assumed settled down for a while to have me. I've only known them for a short time until they both died on the same mission when I turned five. I bunked in with Eriol and his family until I could get a pad of my own.

When they died I learned how harsh this war was and I was from then on terrified of this place, so I was always a quiet person until someone pissed me off. I've gotten into many fights when I was younger and my aunt and uncle were both worried it was some physique problem for loosing my parents at a young age.

I don't aim to get involved with anyone not just because of the women attracted to me, but because I'm afraid if I get too attached I could loose them somehow, like I lost my parents. I was afraid to risk.

When I walked back to my door I found Eriol leaning against it looking out at the city. I stopped as I waited for him to notice me. When he did he smirked and turned to face me.

"You ready?"

I stared at him without a reaction until he raised a brow, "You're not going to chicken out like you always do are you?"

Why did he have to go and say something like that; I hate how he knew me too well.

I sighed as I looked out at the city, "Fine… I'll go."

"Great, let's go then." He said, simply turning around not even waiting to see if I would follow. I scowled as I glared daggers at his back and followed slowly.

The Cave was full with everybody from the colony and I couldn't help but try to remember the last time I came to one of these. I followed Eriol to the spot I assumed all his friends were waiting and I knew we were almost there because I saw Tomoyo up ahead.

"Hello Syaoran!" She yelled to me over the loud chattering. I nodded to her as I stood in my place with my hands in my pockets like I always did.

"Where's Sakura?" Eriol asked her.

"Oh she'll be here," She paused to giggle, "the silly girl came out while I was waiting for her and forgot to lock her mischief cat up inside so she told me to go on ahead."

"So she finally realized locking Kero up in a cage would reduce the loss of food she had eh?" Eriol laughed and I watched them exchange smiles.

Suddenly someone bumped into me and I couldn't help but notice that the girl was falling as she lost a certain amount of balance. I grabbed her sides and looked over at a boy laughing as he watched her fall.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." The girl said, forcing me to look away from the asshole and down at her. She had to grip my shirt in order to stand and I waited until she was fully balanced before I let go of her arms.

"Don't mention it."

"Sakura, that was awfully mean of him to push you down like that, why would he do something like that?" Tomoyo asked as she ran up to the girl… so this was Sakura?

The girl blushed and looked down, "He was just in the way and I asked him politely to move and when he did he just shoved me… B-But it's alright! I don't really mind."

I saw Eriol's face turn to disappointment until he spoke, "Sakura, you shouldn't be so forgiving like that." This caused me to look back at the girl in question and I was surprised to see her smile for a moment, but it eventually faded.

"Oh don't get all caught up in a silly event you guys," Tomoyo started, "We came here tonight to have fun!"

As soon as she said this, councilor Hamenn spoke up over the crowd, silencing everybody. He spoke of this evening as a celebration like many of the ones in the past and told us all that we should enjoy ourselves for another night of reminder that we are free before he walked off and the drums began.

I leaned against the wall as I watch everyone grind together and dance with their partners, some being partners of three. Eriol was dancing with Tomoyo and at some time Tomoyo was dancing with Sakura.

Unlike everybody else, Sakura danced differently. It wasn't as dirty or as wild as the rest and she didn't wear one of those see-through shirts. Instead the shirt was grey and it just barely pulled over her breasts, leaving her flat belly exposed. Her arms were in the air and her eyes were closed as she swung her head from side to side, moving to the beat of the drums.

Soon she became tired and she walked over to the wall beside me. She sighed and looked up at me with a smile, "Why aren't you dancing?"

I found this question mighty uncomfortable for some reason, "Because I find it uncomfortable." I automatically said this without thinking.

"Then why would you come here if you weren't going to dance?"

"Because a certain cousin dragged me here." Just saying this made my blood boil and I glared at Eriol.

"Oh? Who's your cousin?" she asked me and I had to stare down at her. It was a surprising question that made me wonder if Eriol even spoke of me.

"Eriol." I watched her eyes widen and for some reason I had the urge to smirk. She looked over at my cousin with the most curious eyes.

"I wonder why he didn't say anything." She said slowly and at this moment for some reason, as I stared down at her I realized she was extremely different from the rest.

"He's probably embarrassed." I said as I watched my cousin with a smirk. At the corner of my eye I could see her snap her head back towards me but I didn't look at her. Then she giggled and I found it confusing as I looked back at her.

"Everybody's embarrassed about their family members, but I highly doubt that was Eriol's reason," she started to say, "You should know, Eriol's not like that at all."

My smirk widened and before I knew what I was doing I was laughing.

"I guess." After I said this I felt like going back to my room. I've never really had a conversation with anyone here but my family and Tomoyo, so this was my first conversation with a straight up stranger. I suppose she wasn't a complete stranger though, if she was a friend of both Eriol and Tomoyo. But all the same, it slightly scared me.

I took a look at her again and scanned her image in my mind. She had holes, which obviously meant she was originally plugged into the Matrix and her hair was as long as mine, short and messy. This either meant she was unplugged a little while ago or she kept her hair short. She had a beautiful face, small and feminine and eyes like an emerald jewel.

I pulled my eyes away when she caught me staring, but fortunately she didn't say anything of it, "So you must have been born here without holes like Eriol and Tomoyo." She said and I only nodded in response. She looked down, "You must be very happy you never had to go through the experience of being unplugged."

This girl never seized to surprise me. I spoke up once I looked back at her, "People like me never seen the Matrix except in code. We grow up to be operators of some kind in order to help with the war."

"So you're an operator?"

I shook my head, "Not at all."

"But you just said-"

"We're not forced. We have the choice to be an operator if we wanted to, but some of us can live peacefully here in Zion. We're just taught the codes in case of emergencies."

"Oh…" She looked back at the ground and I realized now that she must have been here for only a short period if she didn't know everything yet, although there was a lot to learn.

"I should get back." I said as I unfolded my arms and inserted my hands in my pockets once again. Turning around to leave I heard her voice again.

"Wait!"

I turned around and waited for her to speak.

"Uhm… may I walk with you? I'm going to go back too. I don't feel like dancing anymore." Her eyes were pleading and I couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. I thought about it for a moment and even though I still wasn't sure about it I nodded anyways.

As we walked through the city in silence I thought about how I'm usually uncomfortable with others around me. This girl had a certain atmosphere that was calming but at the same time I still felt tense around her.

"My name's Sakura, by the way." She said, still not tearing her eyes away from the floor. "I just remembered I haven't introduced myself properly."

I was quiet for a moment before I responded, "Syaoran."

"Which dock do you live on?"

"Eight."

"So I suppose we should go to mine first."

My eyebrow went high as I stared at her.

"I'm on Dock 6, so I'm first stop." I finally understood and looked away.

"You're an awfully quiet person." She giggled nervously and my gaze turned to hers once again.

"You're an awfully talkative person." I might have sounded a bit too rude but I had a habit of ignoring it.

She looked down, "Yes, well, I'm not usually this talkative. I just have a habit of trying to break silences when I feel uncomfortable."

"You're uncomfortable?" she nodded slowly and I thought it wasn't like me to feel guilty about things, but right now I was feeling guilty.

"I have a habit of staying away from these kinds of situations. I don't normally talk to anybody." I don't know why I'm opening up to her like this. I'm starting to tell her things I haven't even told Eriol.

"I'm sorry; did I force you to take this walk with me even though you didn't want to?"

When she asked me this, I had to ask myself the same thing because I didn't even know the answer. I didn't even know why I agreed to walk her home.

"It's just a bad habit, it doesn't really mean anything."

She stopped suddenly and I stopped to look at her questioningly, wondering if I said anything I shouldn't have.

"This is my stop." She smiled nervously, pointing to the door beside us. I stared at the door for a moment when I realized it was beside Eriol's. When I looked back at her she already turned to open the door.

"Thanks for the walk. It was nice to meet you Syaoran." And before I could say anything she closed the door gently. I blinked several times before walking to the elevator.

She was definitely a strange girl.


	3. Sadness in all it's glory

**Chapter 2: Sadness in all it's glory**

Frustrated and angry, I decided to leave the room allowing the damn cat to rummage my diner. Furious as I was, I knew if I kept myself in the same room as the cat I would regretfully find myself injuring the unpleasant thing. I got dressed in my shrubby clothing and ran outside as quickly as possible, wanting to get as far away from the cat as possible, and jogged to Tomoyo's.

"-No, please father!-"

I stopped myself before I could go any further… I knew what was happening and I knew all too well now that I couldn't invite myself to Tomoyo's, sadly. I couldn't see them, but they were close and I expected this to happen rather earlier; her father was called back to the Cirus ship. I was expecting it to happen days ago—pitiful it had to happen at all.

I backed up so cautiously, I only realized then how strangely anxious I felt in the situation that I spun on my heal and ran. I had no clue why I ran. I felt afraid, maybe in knowing I would have to comfort Tomoyo. All we could do was hope and wait for him to come back to her with both body and soul—again.

I've been soothing her fragile mind over the short time I've been here and it wasn't ever a fun or pretty task to aid. I would do it even though deep down it clenched my stomach, but this time something jabbed at my insides and twisted them so tight it was frightening.

I surprisingly found myself where the engines ran our growing facility of Matrix-borns'. I've never come here before and I wondered if I were trespassing into a certain area I shouldn't be. But before I could even investigate the very idea of the way I came I found myself entranced. It had to have been the best part of Zion I could have ever seen, with large smoke spitting machines and an enormous pool where machines ran through it, I assumed was our recycled water. And long titanic pipes going here and fro to anywhere I couldn't see.

"Oh, uhh…"

I sharply turned to the voice, startled out of my wits. I found a boy a foot taller than me, and with attractively brown unruly hair had just turned to what I figured was to leave me in peace. I stared at his retrieving back before I came to my senses, "Am I not suppose to be here, sir?" I yelled to him.

When he stopped it was as though he hesitated to turn around, and when he did face me I realized I've met him before.

"Syaoran?" my voice was a whisper and soft. He looked at me a bit furtively, and I expected an awkward silence to pass.

"Well, am I not supposed to be here?" I tried breaking the silence rather angered and it seemed odd for me to get angry over nothing. It was slightly hidden in my voice, a fabric of annoyance and I assumed it was my irritancy of long uncomfortable silences.

He gave a shifty laugh before answering, "Anyone's allowed here Sakura, don't worry."

"Who said I'm worrying?" was my retort and I sounded rather rude and regretted it at once, before I turned to stare out at the amazing machines with a great sigh, "I'm sorry…"

He was quiet after that and after a moment I wondered if he could even breathe.

I looked at him again, "Do you come here often, then?"

With a nod he leaned against the railings beside me, "I come at least once a week, depending on moods."

"Moods?" my eyebrows rose to the ceiling.

He looked down, seeming nervous, and breathed in, "Stress I suppose."

"But we all get stress." When I said this, his head snapped to me again and I could see the glitter of surprise shine in those gorgeous ambers. Silence overwhelmed us again, but this time strangely and somewhat peaceful.

"I remember my wasteful life in the Matrix was stressful. I've never had an exciting life or a peaceful one at all. There were times I thought I was at peace but…" I made a disgusted face as I continued, "It was all a hallucination."

"If you're mind makes it real, that's all that matters." He said and it surprised me how much this lifted my spirits. The statement somehow made sense to me and I felt as if I could hug him for it.

I smirked, "For someone who could never be plugged into the Matrix, you know an awful lot."

"I don't need to be plugged into it to know what it is or what it does to the mind." He said quietly and my spirits were somewhat down again.

Every time I'm near him my mind speaks to me repeatedly of the word, 'why'. Maybe it was the way he held himself, the way he walked, the deep, lonely voice he used, the amber eyes, the rough personality… maybe it was the silent, invisible voice that cried out to me, a vibration of hope that beckoned some kind of comfort. No matter how much I thought about it I couldn't find the answer and I sighed deeply.

"This place is still strange to me." It was meant to be louder but it came out a whisper and I felt my voice quiver just slightly. I leaned away from the edge and held onto the bar so I would not fall backward. He stared at me for a long moment and just when I thought he wouldn't say anything, he did.

"Me too."

My body slapped against the railing again and I looked at him with my eyebrows furrowed tight, "But you were here you're whole life… wouldn't you be use to it?" he was shaking his head already before I even finished my question.

"It's not an easy place to get use to, weather you're a Matrix-born or not. I've always felt empty here, yet unlike a soul similar to mine who does not accept a life in Zion, I'd rather stay here as the walking enigma I am."

He was quiet after this and I watched him intently, "A walking enigma…" I repeated slowly and he faced the ground. "That sounds a lot like me."

For the second time that night I had startled him into staring at me in surprise. As we stared at each other we seemed to be speaking another language and I've come to the conclusion that we're the same in some ways. I looked away to the machines for the last time that night before I stepped out behind him and made my way out. I stopped for a moment to look back over my shoulder, "Good night."

I hadn't given him any time to speak as I fled rather quickly back to my room. I concentrated hard on the subject of why I fled from Tomoyo's suddenly. I've never backed out on her like this before and I started to feel rather ashamed.

It wasn't yet too late and I found myself walking into Tomoyo's chambers where I would pay my respect.

"Oh, Sakura…" Tomoyo sobbed on my lap suddenly and I held onto her like I did in the past. I hated her cracking voice and tear stained face and I wished sometimes she didn't have a father to worry over.

"Now, now Tomoyo, He hasn't died. He'll be back as soon as you know it." I said to her, but her sobbing became worse and I thought only then that I would have been better off saying nothing at all.

"Oh there, there Tomoyo, I've brought you a hot drink to cool you down now." Her mother said as she set it down on the table in front of us before she sat on the ground beside her daughter to rest her own head on her shoulder.

"Hush now." She kept saying as she held Tomoyo by the shoulders, rubbing them tenderly and as soothing as possible.

"He said he wouldn't go! He promised…" Was one of the many rants Tomoyo would scream while she sobbed and as usual I had no idea how to help her feel at peace again.

"Tomoyo… how about you, Eriol and I have lunch tomorrow, ne?" at this, she seemed to have stopped her wails and looked up at me, sniffling and whipping her face, "With Eriol?"

I didn't know how surprising it was to go to lunch with Eriol, we've went to lunch with him so many other times before.

I smiled anyways, "Of course." Encouraging and hoping her behavior to change into happiness again.

She sniffed again and stood up, "Okay." There was a glint in her eye, but as soon as it arrived it left and I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. If I would have known Eriol's name would stop her wails I would have used it earlier.

The next day we sat at one of the tables eating our disgusting porridge. Eriol did his magic on Tomoyo and I smiled at her laughing face. Soon our conversation died and I saw a look upon Eriol's face that bothered me.

"Are you alright, Eriol?" As soon as a sound came from my mouth he brightened up with the fakest smile.

"Of course I'm alright, why, do I look ill?" came his weak reply and I studied him more. Apparently he didn't enjoy the way my eyes shifted over him and he could only smirk at my judgment. Somehow, he was acting a little odd to me and I knew it wasn't because of Tomoyo's presence.

I ripped my gaze from him to continue eating my porridge, deciding to forget it for the time being, because Tomoyo was looking worried again. I couldn't understand why they were still silent but I found myself in a horrible mood to even try to break it.

"Sakura, is everything alright?" Tomoyo asked me, her hand on my shoulder. It startled me, and I suddenly stared at her again. Apparently she had missed the look upon Eriol's face.

I swallowed my porridge as I looked from Eriol to Tomoyo again with a smile. I giggled as I looked down at my porridge, using my spoon to play with it so I would sooth the attention back to a normal conversation.

"I am ridiculously content, do you know why?" I asked them, a series of odd looks washed upon their faces as they shook their heads, "Because I have the two most precious friends I could ask for, and they know that if there's something on their minds, even if it were a bad thought, they would say something." I grabbed Tomoyo and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, hugging her to my body as I gave a knowing smile towards Eriol, who sat across us.

His smirk faded as he stared at me with a look that told me I had revealed his mind, though Tomoyo, as clueless as she was, only smiled at me and hugged me back. On the other hand, Eriol and I stared at each other for what felt like an extreme eternity and we exchanged looks as if we exchanged words.

"I—uhh…" Eriol looked down and I was satisfied with myself for opening him up. "I have some news." He said and I waited patiently, knowing he would spill eventually. He had paused for a very long time and I wondered if he was testing that patience.

"What's your news Eriol?" Tomoyo had asked, reading my mind.

Eriol looked rather distressed and I began to worry if it were really bad, whatever it was.

"There isn't a time in my day that I feel happy with myself. Of course, you guys fill that hole but there's still something missing." He started and I tried to understand. "For as long as I've been here I've always felt this longing, like I need to do something and—" He stopped suddenly as he looked down, I guessed to gather his thoughts.

When he looked up again I could not recognize the look upon his face and it scared me.

"I've decided to become an Operator for the Hiatus."

Once he had said this, my heart stopped. Naturally, I was delighted that Eriol was choosing something he feels comfortable doing, but the heart wrenching thought of looking at Tomoyo's face right now was unpleasant on so many levels. I could feel her tighten in my arms and by the look on Eriol's face, her face wasn't so pretty.

When I felt I had the courage to look over at her I knew it was a mistake. She looked the same as she did the night before. She was starting to cry and by the expressions running across her face like a remote was controlling them I could tell instantly she would certainly break down within seconds.

I suddenly had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach; I felt some kind of hatred towards Eriol at this moment. He'd dare speak of this now, of all times, when he was supposed to be soothing her. He knew she hated when the people she loved were going on those ships—it was her worse nightmare imaginable.

I watched Tomoyo gulp down hard and it occurred to me then how contagious this was just as much as yawning. Eriol looked as though he were to throw up any minute; he was turning the deepest shade of purple I've ever seen.

The silence was killing me but the thought of trying to say something was nerve racking.

And soon my worse fear had erupted—Tomoyo started hyperventilating in harsh steps as the tears finally leaked down her cheeks like waterfalls. Eriol's hand that was currently holding his cup was shaking, causing the glass to chatter against the table. Tomoyo started grasping for anything to support her—especially my ears.

Once I started trying to sooth her as I did the night before she started speaking incoherent words, "I—you—Why—"

Somehow the spectacles on Eriol's nose looked crooked, which was enormously odd considering he hadn't moved unnaturally since he'd last spoke.

Then suddenly, Tomoyo said something that I couldn't understand, "You enjoy it?"

The look that Eriol gave her was extremely flabbergasting to the eye; he looked as though he'd been struck by lightening. When he started shaking his head slowly she screeched, "Liar!"

She got extremely hard to hold down and before I knew it she actually pushed me aside, but before she could fully stand up and walk away Eriol rose up to meet her half way, holding her in what looked like a vise-grip. She started pounding her fists into his chest as if to murder him on the spot and I watched in horror.

"You always like to be this intelligent little pompous, don't you!" she cried while trying to free herself from him, still crying uncontrollably. Eriol still looked as though he was about to puke.

"I shouldn't have to wish you were too stupid for computer codes, because you're stupid enough to rip my heart!" by her extreme words it looked as though Eriol tried twice as hard to hold her still, he even pulled her against him.

Eriol looked down at her but failed to look directly into her face from her constant shaking, "I never wanted to hurt you, Tomoyo—."

It was the most enormous noise ever created from a slap to the face if I ever heard one, and I stared in shock as I watched Tomoyo stand there no longer struggling, staring up at the man with tears running down her cheeks still like constant flowing rivers. Her lip trembled like a pouting five year old before she turned on her heel and ran, sobbing on the way.

Eriol stood there, not holding his cheek like any other man in shock would have, but as a man staring down at the floor in shame.

And there I sat; how harshly one gets to experience the first fight my two best friends had ever had in their entire life.


	4. Attraction

**Chapter 4: Attraction**

Eriol didn't seem to even want _me_ inside his room. I couldn't really understand it but I did know that something happened between him and the love of his life. He's not the same Eriol than before, he's sending out unnatural smiles and reassurances that everything's alright, which is ridiculous – he knows we don't believe him.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come inside? I can keep you company?" At my words Eriol started to laugh, and I knew it was real this time.

"My dear cousin, I know just as much as you know that you hate to comfort people. I've told you I'm fine." He stood in his doorway, obviously to block my way of entering.

It was all so stupid.

Why won't he just go to her and try to makeup? I may not know what love is but I know who I am and I would run after her even if it would cause me my life.

When we stared at each other I was sure he would close the door in my face by the look on his face and when I was about to say something I heard the door beside us open. And slowly Sakura emerged from behind it and closed her door behind her as she walked out. When she saw me her face immediately moved to Eriol's face in resentment. Then suddenly she spun on her heel as if to run away.

"Sakura!"

I looked to Eriol as he screamed after her and wondered what he would be thinking at this moment. I assumed he was thinking of Tomoyo, considering Sakura was most likely running to Tomoyo's aid. To my surprise Sakura stopped comically. I stared at her as she turned around, this time looking upset.

I realized just now that this woman will never stop surprising me, for she had run into Eriol's arms as if on automatic. I watched them with my hands in my pockets, feeling a bit emotional myself. I looked down at the floor to wait for the moment to pass.

"I was so scared, Eriol." Sakura had sobbed into Eriol's ear and this caused me to look up in confusion. She was crying now in uncontrollable sobs and by the look on Eriol's face, he too was getting emotional because I have never seen tears in his eyes before. I was even more confused then before and I felt my eyes narrow.

"You were going to her…weren't you?" Eriol whispered in her ear and when she gave no reply his eyes closed abnormally tight. He closed his arms tighter around her as well and these actions made me feel something I've never felt before. I didn't understand how I was feeling, but then the feeling passed when they separated.

Their expressions of deep melancholy were mirrored and for a moment they stayed that way as they stared at one another.

I was looking elsewhere now, as if I were a patient waiting to be called from my doctor.

"Do you suppose… Tomoyo feels the need to be alone for a while?" Eriol had said and I didn't like how he said it—what did he mean?

"She does feel resentful towards me," Sakura whispered back and I held the urge to look at her.

"I don't like being with her when she's so upset." For a moment I thought she would burst into tears when she said this, because her voice was shaking.

"Why don't you take some time off her? Of course she would feel upset if you didn't go to her aid—I'm only saying this out of my feelings. Syaoran's been trying to comfort me in the most hilarious manner," At this I sent him a sudden look of hatred and a look that told him to take that back, but then I saw Sakura's giggle and relaxed.

"I too, would like to be alone, if possible." Eriol's voice sounded the most saddening and I had to look away.

"Perhaps you and Syaoran could spend the day together…" Eriol leaned in closer to Sakura as he whispered the last part, "keep him off my back?"

I almost scoffed indignantly and felt the need to hit him—but I wouldn't do such rash things in front of a lady.

"Sure." Somehow, her voice sounded lifted, and I wondered why. "You don't mind. Do you Syaoran?"

I looked to her expressionless but shook my head.

"I'll leave you two then." Was Eriol's dismissal as he shut his door before we could disapprove. I was left in the company of the girl who had left abruptly the other night and I scratched the back of my neck uncomfortably before asking, "Where to?"

She shrugged apathetically, "Anywhere's fine with me."

We walked everywhere around Zion, talking about dreams and wishes to passion and dispassion. Until we reach a corridor that was abandoned.

"I've been meaning to ask," Sakura started. "Who is 'The One'?"

I stopped and looked at her, "The One?"

She nodded, "I was having dinner one night with Tomoyo's family and her father talked about another commander finding 'The One'. He told me about it all but I still don't understand it."

I suddenly felt sick to the stomach and it must have shown on my face because she started getting concerned, "Are you alright Syaoran?"

I still couldn't speak and my knees became weak and I fell against the cold metal wall. "Syaoran?" came her scream of terror, apparently she thought I was dying.

"It can't be."

"What can't be?" she was looking extremely confused and I blinked for composure.

"There's a prophecy," I paused to catch my breath.

"I know about the prophecy." She said and I suddenly got angry, "Then why would you ask about it?"

"Because I don't understand it." She said and I suddenly realized she was trying to hold me up. I was very aware now at the sudden closeness we were and I moved away cautiously.

"What don't you understand?"

"How could one man be responsible for our war?" at her curious words I froze again, not by surprise but by realization.

"I don't know." I finally said and she looked disappointed but knew that the conversation was over.

We kept walking in silence and it overwhelmed me by the thought of 'The One'. I grew up thinking it was a fairy tale. When people would say it's only a myth and didn't believe a single word of it, especially when the man called 'Morpheus" felt it was real and spent his whole life searching for him.

Now to hear that he _has_ found him, I don't know whether to believe it or not. But before I could ponder further on the subject I found myself walking with Sakura in the place I spend all my days avoiding. Here, were the boys my age, some of which I have fought and the rest either afraid to talk to me or wanting to strangle me. It was a place they hung out; talking about anything boys would talk about.

I was very aware at the way most of them were looking at Sakura and the monster inside me roared with hatred and protection. I looked at her and noticed her tension but her face showed no discomfort and when a few of them started whistling and barking I took this matter into my own hands… literally.

Sakura's breath caught in her throat at the feel of my arm wrapping around her slender waste and she gasped even louder when I suddenly pulled her closer to my body and I smirked at this. They stopped their whistling and barking as they watched with surprise and jealousy. I felt the adrenaline pulsing in my veins and found myself playing with Sakura's hair as I looked down at her blushing face. I realized now that I didn't blame them for being attracted to her—she was very cute. She had a face like no other with huge emerald eyes and a perfectly shaped petite nose but when everything came down to a science; her mouth was the most attractive thing about her. They were soft and naturally a light pink. I was very aware now at how desirable her lips were—I felt it in the pit of my stomach.

I gulped as I pulled her alongside me, walking away from this place so I could finally let go of her. When I did she stopped walking as she watched me. I stared at her as I scratched the back of my neck again, waiting for her to yell at me.

"Why did you do that?"

I gulped. "Knowing them, they were probably thinking of raping you."

I somehow knew this was silly because she furrowed her eyebrows in disbelief and I sighed as I looked to the ground, "It was the only way to protect you from them."

In the silence that came I thought about what I did. Her body against mine was the cause of my adrenaline rush, not their faces. Her feeling is discomfort around those men was what made me do what I did, not the way they were looking at her. Yet I still feel protective of her around them. It ate me inside at how attractive she was to begin with. This was all very new to me and I didn't even understand my actions as much as I thought I did.

We walked side by side only this time I felt the urge to grab her and I hated myself for even thinking it. How can feelings like this suddenly emerge out of no where? The feeling was too strong and before I knew it we were back at her door. It would be a lie if I said I wasn't relieved. Yet I still felt disappointed.

"Goodnight." I said before I fled from her presence. It wasn't the proper goodbye that I wanted but I had to get away before my control went insane. Tomorrow, the feeling won't be so strong and I will be able to control myself.

Let's only hope it won't be as awkward as I fear it will.


End file.
